Pegas

Rick Hard on how to have a stable relationship as a Pornstar

From my perception, everything is possible, there is nothing as black or white, there is always a grey zone. Which means everyone relate differently on this subject matter. To work as a pornstar for living you must have an open minded. It’s not evident to find a girl who would accept that her boyfriend would have explicit intercourse with different girls to pay his bills. The same apply for a guy, not any guy would accept that a girl with do blowjobs and having anal and vaginal penetration as a living or career. But, nothing is impossible in life; your other half will love you for who you are not your profession. A profession or a job doesn’t describe a man or a woman. But it won’t be easy to find the love of your life while you are in this business, you must have to define your own boundaries with your soulmate. If your girlfriend is an actress, it’s totally normal that she would have more opportunities, obviously she is a girl, you must control yourself to not being jealous. But that doesn’t mean that because she has many encounters in her profession, you are going in nightclubs or dating sites to meet different women to have sex with them. In the end, it’s her job if she is a pornstar. Like I have mentioned, never say never, some people working in the sex industry wouldn’t think that they would be able to find someone who is stable emotionally , that have a real career such as a lawyer, doctor, engineer etc. That the only girls or guys they could get would be escort, strippers or people working in bars. This is completely false, everyone has a different perspective. If you have a goal, and you hardworking and honest towards your goals, your soulmate will come naturally and would accept the profession that you chose. Also, escort or stripper doesn’t mean that the person is a derelict or junkie; you establish common values and set up your own boundaries with the person.

There is something that I find aberrant in this field, a lot of performers put this profession aside because they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If you want to be well known in this industry, you have to be serious. Would you imagine an airline pilot stoping his work because his girlfriend doesn’t want him to do it? A neurosurgeon give up is profession because of his soulmate? A police officer stoping to work in the law enforcement because his other half doesn’t want? You get the point, to be a pornstar you have to take this job as seriously as another profession. Being a performer in the adult entertainment is serious.

The benefits being in a relationship in sex industry, is that you demonstrate to your employers and colleagues a certain stability. For example, in my case , everybody knows that I don’t try to sleep with my co-workers outside of the scenes, everyone know who is my girlfriend. Because of my situation, my co-workers and the producers know that I am trustworthy. The girls feel conformable around me; because they know that I don’t have a hidden agenda. I get the best of both worlds, my sex life is very varied, I get to have new encounters for the scenes I get and I could get sex when I want with my girlfriend, while having different partners in my career.

However, there are some cons while working as a performer in this industry. Sometimes, your girlfriend will be over jealous and will pick up fight with you because she doesn’t want to you to perform with a specific girl, she will make you feel guilty and your own sanity would be compromise. She could threaten you to have sex with your nemesis, which your mental health would take a toll. Also, to be always active in the industry, recruiting is a major part, when you start to get known it will be easier for you to recruit girls. To be able to convince a new girl, you have to establish a relationship based on trust, you meet the girl once take her to a coffee and refer her to the producers. Remember, people tend to buy from people, you must connect emotionally with the person, and eventually you will get friendly with the newbie. The side effect, your girlfriend will be jealous and pick up fights with you, and that could lead to psychological bullying. That’s why it is very important to set your values with your soulmate and set your common rules with her.

If you want to date a fellow actress and both of you want a long term relationship, it might happen that she would have to perform with someone that you dislike. You will resent hate and jealousy which is totally normal. You have to learn to control your emotions and being Zen and being professional. If it really bugs you that she performs with someone in particular, you must have to talk her and establish your mutual rules. If you both wants to have success in this business or one more than another, and your couple have too much fights , in the long run you must think in consideration that’s it’s better to go your separate way, because in the end your career, reputation and mental health will be destroyed.

Here is some example of well-known performers in the porn industry that discuss relationship matters

Here is what T.T Boy says:

I tell people not to get into this business. Relationships don’t work. If you think this business is all glamor, you’re wrong. It can mess with your head. If you want to do it, only use this business as a last resort before working at McDonalds.

Here is an Example of an interview from James Deen:

MH: And as a porn star, is it hard to maintain a relationship?

Deen: Not really. I definitely date. And usually when there’s an issue in the relationship, it’s not the porn. It often has more to do with personal issues with me, my character, my personal quirks—it’s rarely the whole business thing. But being a relationship is a whole different ball game. That desire for emotional intimacy and affection does not dissipate just because you’re getting regular physical intimacy. They’re very different and you cannot exchange one for the other.

In conclusion, there is nothing black or white, there is always a grey zone, you just have to find with your partner the best common ground to establish your relationship. The most successful pornstar always had a partner. Everything is possible in life.